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Suddenly feel like not playing facebook anymore...
The reason should be facebook mean nothing to me...
Just a boring website page which entertain me during my free time...
Or because of the reason which i know i will get hurt every once i step in his profile...
Not because of jealously Not because of childish...
Is just because i start to know that I'm getting disappear in your eyes sight...
Even i less using phone too...
It is meaningless holding a phone that won't ring...
Maybe my phone will ring...
But the ringing is not from u...

Actually can i ask...
Do i really fall for you...
This question is spinning on my mind...
Are you that important to me...
In the other hand...
Am I'm important in your heart...
Do you care what i write...
Do you care what my feels...
This answer has been hide deep inside the darkness...
Which i cant even find a light to get through it...

Today i read a comic book title was
" I'm here "
The story is about a girl which not get notice by anyone...
She always stay in a corner, never speaker to classmate...
But she change when the boy notice her...
I wonder do u ever notice me...
I did asked u before this question...
& you also answer me...

I really wonder what type of boy you are...
Love to flirt around with pretty girls...
Or you are just a playboy that fooling me around...
But my feeling told me you were special...
Special enough till let me grow up once more again...
Yeaps for real you have a good looking...
You were rich...
You have the brain...
I can't confirm that i could tie your heart well...
Because there is much more girls outside waiting for U...
& have been prove I just let u go...
Is my fault...
Because I'm not that brave enough...

I'm just hiding all the way...
Not even be brave to speak out what i thinks...
Even you were just the same...
Never which to tell me the truth of your thinking...
Maybe for you that is not important...
Because you haven which to face the reality in this world...
Or maybe you did face the problem i had before...
That is why our thinking were totally different...
But the reason you liked me is what...
Is just because of my thinking...
& I'm sorry for failing it...
Make you disappoint Make myself hurt...
It all made by my barely hand...

Do you know every night when you have a nice sleep...
I'm totally different from U...
Looking at your picture...
My tears will drop...
Unlike U...
I'm not that famous as u...
And you did even try to stand at my side to think about me...
Please understand i'm not as strong as u are...
I'm not that confident as u were...
I have many black shadow around me which i can't even let go...
Yeaps i maybe different from other girl...
But please remember I'm also weaker than other girl...
I never blame anything...
Just blame that human love to lie people...
Human love to think of themselves only...

For the last
I really hope that we can have a nice chat
before we will regret
I dun mind after the chat we r not friend
I just care that at least we were true friend before
We know what each other thinking
But this hope never will happen
I promise

I never forget what you say before
It is not easy for me to fall in love with girls

For my case:

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Copied this post from someone's blog,

I agree with this blog very much,

maybe it is because this is what i feel.

The reason i deleted her from facebook is because i am afraid,

I am afraid to see anything,

maybe because i am not there anymore,

perhaps i never have been.

I don't place my phone near me anymore,

I silent my phone whenever i have it with me,

I thought of turning it off every night,

it is because i hate the fact that there is no more her.

Even if there is her,

I dunno how to face her,

I only think of avoiding.

Every night while she is sleeping tightly or maybe having a phone call,

where am I?? Alone.

what am I doing?? Think of her.

and without fail,

tears again.

What a big joke,

the Matthew who either is always cool, flirty or has temper will become someone who cries terribly at night,

I admit,

I am someone who cries whenever I feel sad,

whenever I feel hurt,

I even cry at other peoples' story,

because I feel them.

I dun care whether I laugh or not,

i just know tat i haven smile for a long time,

for quite some time,

the onli moment where i would smile is when i am crying,

every time i cry i would force a smile,

i guess that smile is what i try to do to stop me crying,

but i end up crying more,

why?

One of my new friend taught me the onli way to forget a past is to face it,

too bad that i cant find the strength to do so,

i dun have the courage,

i wan to avoid her in any possible way,

because i dunno how to face her anymore,

I wish that no one would ever mention her,

the onli place i want her to be is onli in my memories.

I know how to give advise to anyone i think who needs,

but why cant i take my owns?

I always tell others to smile and move on,

why am i not doing it?

why do i miss her so badly that tears flow?

I miss her a lot,

i wan to keep it to myself,

if someone ever ask me,

do you miss her?

I would lie and say that i dont,

but in my heart i miss her badly.